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: you applied your own tourniquet. >> yes. >> jon: and stayed in command of... wow. i mean, i'm honestly speechless. it's a remarkable story, and the one thing, as remarkable as the heroism in that is, is your remarkable heroism and your brothers and all the service people, as extraordinary as your acts were, what's really extraordinary is your ordinary service, the six tours in afghanistan and the two tours in iraq and all that you've done without commendation. i'm so pleased and honored that you would here today. i just wanted to thank you personally for not just your heroism but just your service, which is extraordinary in and of itself. i thank you so much for being here. do you have a couple minutes? we'll talk a little bit. we're going to throw it up on the web, the second part. we're going to stay here. it's just an honor to see you, sir. sergeant first class leroy petry. we're going to you could save a bundle with geico's multi-policy discount. geico, saving people money on more than just car insurance. ♪ geico, saving people money on more than just ca
: you applied your own tourniquet. >> yes. >> jon: and stayed in command of... wow. i mean, i'm honestly speechless. it's a remarkable story, and the one thing, as remarkable as the heroism in that is, is your remarkable heroism and your brothers and all the service people, as extraordinary as your acts were, what's really extraordinary is your ordinary service, the six tours in afghanistan and the two tours in iraq and all that you've done without commendation. i'm so pleased and...
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. >>> coming up, jon stuart cannot help himself. he can't help but make gay jokes about michele bachmann's husband. so he needs a therapist to help him pray away the gay jokes. that therapist is jerry seinfeld. >>> and when eric cantor says he will never vote for a tax increase of any kind, he is forgetting one little thing about his own record on taxes. luckily for him, and the political media has also forgotten it too. but i'll be reminding him and the political media of the day eric cantor voted to raise income taxes. that's in my "rewrite" tonight. in financial transactions... on devices... in social interactions... and applications in the cloud. some companies are worried. some, not so much. thanks to a network that secures it all and knows what to keep in, and what to keep out. outsmart the threats. see how at cisco.com cisco. the 3.6-liter pentastar v6 engine in the jeep grand cherokee has a best in class driving range of more than 500 miles per tank. which means you don't have to worry about finding a gas station. which is g
. >>> coming up, jon stuart cannot help himself. he can't help but make gay jokes about michele bachmann's husband. so he needs a therapist to help him pray away the gay jokes. that therapist is jerry seinfeld. >>> and when eric cantor says he will never vote for a tax increase of any kind, he is forgetting one little thing about his own record on taxes. luckily for him, and the political media has also forgotten it too. but i'll be reminding him and the political media of the...
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>> jon: that's our show. join us next week at 11:00. here it, is your moment of zen. >> this is the last time that there's ever going to be harry potter film premier. it's like the end of an era. >> oh, my gosh, i'm so >> stephen: tonight, will a scandal bring down rupert murdoch? no. then a new threat from gitmo detainees. if they get any more dangerous, we might have to charge them with something. and my guest is jose antonio vargas, who recently admitted being an illegal immigrant. my original guest was the american whose job he stole. who has two thumbs and is incredibly bad at gesturing at himself? this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> stephen: thank you for joining us, everybody. [audience chanting "stephen"] oh, that's nice. thank you for joining us. you know, once these people... once these people start chanting my name, you can't stop them. [laughter] folks, i want to say hello to everybody watching in america, especially to our viewers in italy. wel
>> jon: that's our show. join us next week at 11:00. here it, is your moment of zen. >> this is the last time that there's ever going to be harry potter film premier. it's like the end of an era. >> oh, my gosh, i'm so >> stephen: tonight, will a scandal bring down rupert murdoch? no. then a new threat from gitmo detainees. if they get any more dangerous, we might have to charge them with something. and my guest is jose antonio vargas, who recently admitted being an...
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jon stewart is an a guest. >> jimmy: he's a great guy. >> just for example. that's when you learn that, like, he majored in chemistry in college. so i had to ask him the geek question -- did he have a favorite element. and he said -- yes, he did. he said carbon. so i said well, why? he said because it's the slut of the periodic table. [ laughter ] it binds with all other elements in many different ways from behind, from above. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what is going down? >> because of that, it's the foundation of biology. carbon makes the most complex molecules there are, and the most complex state of chemistry we know, we call biology. >> jimmy: that is very cool. >> that's useful to know when you're looking for life elsewhere in the universe. so, so, there -- talking about science with jon stewart. and there are others. we have a guy who wrote the book called "the physics of superheroes." that was fun, and -- two parts in a week. >> jimmy: like, how can superman actually fly? >> well yeah. so, yeah. there's a lot of violation of the la
jon stewart is an a guest. >> jimmy: he's a great guy. >> just for example. that's when you learn that, like, he majored in chemistry in college. so i had to ask him the geek question -- did he have a favorite element. and he said -- yes, he did. he said carbon. so i said well, why? he said because it's the slut of the periodic table. [ laughter ] it binds with all other elements in many different ways from behind, from above. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy:...